Words Misused

I Almost Slipped

So let me get right into it. For the past five months I have been celibate. It wasn't because I said screw men. It was because I decided to make a life change in order to stay focused on the important things in my life right now. I know not everyone is going to understand what that means, but I felt relationships and sex have been a major distraction for me. Sadly, for a while it was the equivalent to comfort food. Since making this decision I have seen a big change in my life. I believe everyone has their giants and things that they need to remove from their life in order to be closer to God, and for me this was one of those things. In order to stick to this decision, I tried to stay out of situations that might bring me back to "that place" or might bring temptation, and until Saturday night I had done a good job.

You see, there's this guy "Jay" who I used to date. And when we first met it was great, but as was normal back then, I had drama and it ended up filtering into this new relationship. So it went sour as fast as it began. And Jay, the nice guy that I met, turned into someone terrible who would try to embarrass me and humiliate me at often as he could. And me being the masochist that I am, I felt I deserved that punishment. In the end we parted ways but eventually, after the situation died down, became friends again.

Well lately, I have been starting to see that nice side of Jay again and I can't say I didn't miss him. And, Saturday night (more like Sunday morning) he invited me over to his house. He had invited me in the past and I always turned down the invite. I considered not going this time as well and I made excuses but part of me wanted to go over there. I eventually convinced myself that we would just hang out and nothing would happen. In hindsight, what did I possibly think was going to happen after 4AM in the morning?

Fast forward, we didn't have sex, but we were definitely close to it. When I got home I felt terrible. Not because of Jay because he didn't do anything wrong. I never talked to him about where I am now in my life so what else would he have thought when I decided to drive over there that night.

Its funny that while I am trying to become this new person there are some things from the past that I still want to take with me. Unfortunately, this is impossible. I'm realizing now that I may have to give up more than I thought. 

Change Is Good

A few of you may recall that I already have a blog called Style Addiction. It is a fashion and style blog that I started about a year ago. I haven't posted to it in a while and I got a few emails asking why I haven't posted and why I started a new blog. 

I started a new blog because I felt I had a lot more I wanted to talk about other than fashion, but I had already limited that by making my blog a fashion blog. Now don't get me wrong, I still love Style Addiction and I still plan on continuing with it, which was another question a few other people had. I just needed some time to come up with a way to share more without limiting my topic hence Words Misused. It is a more all inclusive blog so it will have a little of everything. There will be some fashion related posts but most in depth fashion posts will still be on Style Addiction.

I hope this answers any questions that people may have and I certainly hope this isn't disappointing to any of my readers because it shouldn't be. I have a lot in store and I feel this is a better way for me to build a more genuine relationship with my readers and hopefully expand our minds a little bit.

Thank you to all my loyal readers ;-) I do appreciate you.

LaTanya B.